Best of times, Worst of times

Optimistic, defeated, elated, confused, angry, proud, stupid, empowered, giddy, frustrated.  Those are just some of the emotions that I feel during an hour long workout lately.  Lets be honest I feel like an angst ridden teen on Dawson's Creek.  This emotional roller coaster is reminiscent of the two tumultuous years when I taught junior high.  Similar to the students in my block two Science 8 class I sky rocket up and quickly drop back down in just over a 40 minute period.  Its almost like Crossfit and I are in a unhealthily emotionally dramatic relationship.  I love it! I hate it! 

The confusion and frustration come mostly from feeling silly and stupid when I don't know how to hold the weight or how to position my body properly during a lift. I feel rage and defeat when the workout has to be modified because I still can't do a specific type of exercise.  On the other hand the optimism, elation and pride along with the other warm and fuzzy positive feelings come when I notice how much stronger I am both physically and mentally. 

A bit of drama is good.  It keeps us on our toes.  Lets be  really honest most people thrive on drama, and I am no exception (just ask my man).   If people didn't like the drama in their lives TMZ would not be a top rated show and someone like Susan Lucci would not have such a long and successful career. 

So if you know you are in one of these emotionally charged up then down relationships how should you rid your life of it.  I took my type A personality and hit the web to search for advice.  Pathways to happiness and its "experts" suggested that I :

 -stop the emotional reactions (its pretty hard not to use nasty language when you are on your 100th push up)
-change my core beliefs (I just can't do Paleo....)
-quiet the voice in my head (Try plural VOICES....don't ask)

-develop communication and respect in your relationship (Fear and respect aren't the same thing and trust me I 'talk' to my workouts quite a bit-see first bullet)

If it were that easy it wouldn't have taken Joey 128 episodes and 6 seasons to figure out if she loved Pacey or Dawson, Science 8 would have been a lot more about simple machines and less about who was hating who that day and Susan Lucci 's soap opera character would have only had 1 husband not 7. 

Something to work on right?!