Let's talk numbers...

26 days are gone and in this short time I have learned alot about things I never thought to be things I was interested in. Its becoming very apparent what kinds of stuff I am going to have to spend my time on in the gym and in my own head.  The honeymoon is over and it ain't getting lighter, so bring it on! 

Here is a look at where I am at in terms of my strength training. 

Start	Lift	April 29th	Goal
35 lbs	Squat	95lbs	121 lbs
35 lbs	Overhead Press	45 lbs	60 lbs
95 lbs	Deadlift	145 lbs	151 lbs
Blue band	Pullups	Blue band	Green band
45 lbs	Bench Press	55 lbs	90 lbs
Blue band	Dips	Blue band	Body Weight

Inspiration

So I will shut up now and stop being such a whiner.  I have been put in my place.  Check out this video from the Crossfit Games website.  Talk about overcoming obstacles. 

Facing Obstacles: Doing the Open with Cancer
"CrossFit has introduced me to courage beyond the military,” says Kirk from CrossFit Valdosta. “It’s the community and the mental strength that comes from it.” Kirk has been diagnosed with Stage 3 melanoma skin cancer but isn’t letting that stop him from competing in the Open

Damn you Easter Bunny...you are my Lex Luther?

Chocolate, oh sweet chocolate, you are my kryponite and around you I am drained of all power, you induce a sugar high that makes me weak in the knees.  During Easter, like Halloween and very similar to Christmas I am faced with my greatest nemesis and tested.  Raised to never discriminate I give every kind of chocolate a chance and I love all kinds, even the cheap foil wrapped dollar store eggs.  White, milk, dark,  it really doesn't matter I am not picky.  

My name is Dana and I am a chocoholic. Admitting that I am powerless over this addiction is the very first step getting away from it.  When did it start? I don't remember not liking sweets especially chocolate.  First was my tumultuous teen years some might have called me an emotional eater and I found comfort in my dear friend chocolate.  Then came the denial, that's what I was in for most of my early twenties, better known as the "heavy" years.  My "problem" took an ugly turn when I had my quarter life crisis at twenty five.  On my first date with my soon to be husband I ordered the most beautiful Triple Chocolate Brownie cake.  But because I am a lady I didn't polish off the whole thing and took home a doggy bag.  You are thinking that isn't so bad, we all have a delicious chocolate dessert every once in a while. Had it only stopped there.  Rock bottom came the next day, instead of waking up to take a cold shower after a steamy dream about my new man I woke up in a cold sweat aching for that piece of triple chocolate cake sitting in the fridge in the next room.  A better woman would have at least waited until lunch...but not me.  I went straight to that fridge and quickly polished off what remained from the night before.  Much like an addict of any kind I lose all dignity when I come face to face with my vice and I relapse so very quickly.

As I type this I am with mixed emotion scarfing down the Mr. Solid that the Easter Bunny brought my three month old son. This year with Fran one month in is getting hard and I am starting to hit one speed bump after another.  I can't help but think...will this get easier?  What did I get myself into?  Can I prevail over these challenges and transform myself like Clark Kent did so many times when faced with adversity?  Is this over indulgence just a sign that maybe I am once again becoming an emotional eater. 

Insipiration

It was an awfully good Friday at Ignite this week! Our gym is now full of media darlings thanks to some local coverage from the Red Deer Advocate.  This is one of those WODs I watch and think "Boy Crossfit is neat".   Check out the hottie with the grey shirt and blue shorts killing his toes to bar...

Crossfit Games Open WOD by Advocate Staff

Working out on the road...

Or in my case NOT working out while on the road.   Five days full of booze, pop, chips, chocolate and very little activity  is not really conducive to creating a lean mean crossfitting machine well unless you count beer pong as a WOD.  Considering the ultimate goal is to be able to do FRAN I did nothing to help myself get there this weekend. 

I was to return from home with a story of my success.  The plan was to be blogging about how I was able to find time between visiting,hanging out with family and taking part in a wedding,  to work out, eat well and continue on schedule without interruption.   Not so much.  My hope was that I was going to surprise everyone, including myself and prove that I had drank enough of the koolaid and was so knee deep into the crossfit CULTure that my brain had switched from thinking about what a pain in the butt it is to get to the gym to feeling sad and disappointed that I couldn't get there.  Pipe dream. 

We got back around supper time and truth be told I was a little anxious about my return to the gym the next day after my five day hiatus. It didn't take much time after arriving with the husband and kidlets in tow that I realized how right I was to be apprehensive about my first workout in almost a week.  When we got there W started warming up and I..well I didn't do anything...I am not even joking, I literally did nothing.  I 'spotted ' W as he benched and that was as close as I came to any type of lifting today.  There was a brief second where I contemplated doing the WOD on the board, it actually looked appealing, but that feeling of interest was fleeting.  All in all it was a crummy day at the gym.  They can't all be gems,but what if it was a big black chunk of coal. I think my road trip has turned into a road block.   

I just started.  Could I have derailed already? Has my plan to FRAN gone awry?   If this is true,  how does one "get back on track" when life takes a detour?  A plan...everything seems better when you hatch a plan.  You don't build a house without a plan, its risky to not plan for retirement, tackling a huge project at work would be silly with no plan, even Stalin had 5 year plans to get the Soviets out of their slump, heck I even have a plan to get to FRAN, so why not have a plan for my post roadie comeback.  I could ease back into it and build back up the momentum I so briefly had before my trip home.  Get back to the gym and start again.  Seems easy right? Just get up tomorrow and treat it as a new day.  Start out slow, take it a day at a time and plan one workout after the next.   Sheesh who knew I was so insightful. 

So there it is...a plan.  And this is where if my life were a musical I would break out in song "Tomorrow, Tomorrow, there is always tomorrow, its only a day away.."

Best of times, Worst of times

Optimistic, defeated, elated, confused, angry, proud, stupid, empowered, giddy, frustrated.  Those are just some of the emotions that I feel during an hour long workout lately.  Lets be honest I feel like an angst ridden teen on Dawson's Creek.  This emotional roller coaster is reminiscent of the two tumultuous years when I taught junior high.  Similar to the students in my block two Science 8 class I sky rocket up and quickly drop back down in just over a 40 minute period.  Its almost like Crossfit and I are in a unhealthily emotionally dramatic relationship.  I love it! I hate it! 

The confusion and frustration come mostly from feeling silly and stupid when I don't know how to hold the weight or how to position my body properly during a lift. I feel rage and defeat when the workout has to be modified because I still can't do a specific type of exercise.  On the other hand the optimism, elation and pride along with the other warm and fuzzy positive feelings come when I notice how much stronger I am both physically and mentally. 

A bit of drama is good.  It keeps us on our toes.  Lets be  really honest most people thrive on drama, and I am no exception (just ask my man).   If people didn't like the drama in their lives TMZ would not be a top rated show and someone like Susan Lucci would not have such a long and successful career. 

So if you know you are in one of these emotionally charged up then down relationships how should you rid your life of it.  I took my type A personality and hit the web to search for advice.  Pathways to happiness and its "experts" suggested that I :

 -stop the emotional reactions (its pretty hard not to use nasty language when you are on your 100th push up)
-change my core beliefs (I just can't do Paleo....)
-quiet the voice in my head (Try plural VOICES....don't ask)

-develop communication and respect in your relationship (Fear and respect aren't the same thing and trust me I 'talk' to my workouts quite a bit-see first bullet)

If it were that easy it wouldn't have taken Joey 128 episodes and 6 seasons to figure out if she loved Pacey or Dawson, Science 8 would have been a lot more about simple machines and less about who was hating who that day and Susan Lucci 's soap opera character would have only had 1 husband not 7. 

Something to work on right?! 

Inspiration

Don't have to look very far for some inspiration today.  The ladies of Crossfit Red Deer showed up and rose up.  Two of Ignite's finest Crossfit Mommas, Special K and Fancy Nancy, brought the gym down with their heroic effort during their third open WOD this morning.  Both gals gutted it out and were able to meet their goals for 5 minutes of as many 110lbs clean and jerks.  The men represented well too but there is nothing like watching a fellow mom push the equivalent to the winner of America's next top model over her head. Today is a good day to be part of such a fantastic community.   

Body Beatdown

That is the only way that I can describe what I have been through this last week.  Since completing my 95lbs deadlift goal and struggling through testing, I have continued with my "game plan" and have been to the gym way more than I ever thought I would.  I have started to slowly check off Level One Skills in the back of my WOD book including rowing both 500m in 2min 15sec and 2000m in 9min22sec, I also did my static hang for 30 sec.  And although I have had to modify all the workouts still I have been working hard to complete them as best as possible.  The WODs have included exercises like push presses, box jumps, wall balls and push ups.  I have also been staying on track with my strength training and I am now up to 45 lbs squat and bench as well as a 105 lbs deadlift.  My body is achy and sore all over but W keeps saying that "you don't get stronger from lifting heavy weights you get stronger by recovering from lifting heavy weights".  If that is true by the time I feel better I will be the freakn' hulk. 

Jonesing for junk

A shout out to Big L at Ignite Fitness for baking and then sharing his paleo cookie with me this morning....it was....different...but because I was so hard up for junk food, I did what all good cookie lovers do I powered through and ate the whole thing. And I thought I didn't have determination and focus...

Inspiration

This girl rocks.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Nelson Mandela

Finally a plan...let's get going

Two day plan (Wednesday and Saturday).  I will try and add 10 lbs to the lower body exercises each time and 5 lbs to the upper body.  The goal is to reach Rippetoe's Novice strength standard. 

Start	Day One	Goal	Start	Day Two	Goal
35lbs	Squat	121lbs	35 lbs	Squats	121lbs
35lbs	Overhead Press	60lbs	45lbs	Bench Press	90lbs
95lbs	Deadlift	151lbs	95lbs	Deadlift	151lbs
Blue band	Pullups	Green Band	Bench	Dips	Body weight
	Core			Core

You want the truth?

Maybe I should channel this rage

I am not sure I can handle the truth.  Yesterday was testing day and the truth is that a 35lbs box squat and 8 pull ups with the blue band is not going to 'git r done' and the road is much longer than I expected.  As I was "resting" on the box at the bottom of my first set of 5 squats I had an epiphany.   I don`t have an mental edge, you know that aggressive, zone out everything around you, angry, competitive, I am going to kick your ass, lift it at all costs edge. Ya that one...I don't got it. 

A good example of how I know this is that on my bedside table sits "The Friday Night Knitting Club" and "LA Candy" by Lauren Conrad and on W's side is "Starting Strength" and "The Westside Barbell Method of Training" by Louie Simmons. W has the edge...just look what he reads for fun.

Its hard not to compare my self to what Simmons says about the psychological aspect of training.  He says that "A high degree of performance depends on the motivation to reach certain goals (my husband suggests that maybe I need to decide if I really want it), aggression ( I giggle when things get heavy or tough), concentration (my mind wanders to what needs to be done the rest of the day), focus (how can I be focusing on staying tight in my core, if I am driving through my heels, while driving my butt up all the while keeping my eyes on the wall) , the ability to tolerate pain and cope with anxiety or stress (my shoulders are always tight and my legs just don't go that far), the development of a winning attitude (I battle the negative self talk in my own head), and the ability to manage distractions and relax (my two month old is wailing away in his cuddle seat beside the platform and my 2 year old is across the gym getting knocked out by a bar holding 100lbs).

Without that psychological aspect I might be screwed.  So how do I get it? What do I need to do to get "there".  Jim Stee,l head Strength and Conditioning Coordinator at the University of Pennsylvania, tells a funny story about one of his work out buddies. Chris had some psych-up techniques that were really off the wall. One of these involved finding someone in the gym and secretly getting pissed off at them for no reason. He’d be getting ready to squat and say, “I hate that guy at the counter!” and I’d say, “What guy?” And he’d say, “Why is he looking at me?” I’d look over, see a few guys at the gym counter having a conversation and say, “Chris,nobody is even looking over here!” He would say, “Yes he is Jim, yes he is!” And then I would realize what he was doing, and I’d join in, “Yeah, man, I see him!” I’d say “He’s saying, I own you, man! He says he’s stronger than you!!!” And the one that would get Chris fired up the most, “He’s laughing at you!” That would make him nuts, and he would be ready to do his set. Super intense. 

My next purchase on my Kobo



What will be my psych-up technique? Should I get a hate on for someone at the gym? Will "2 Unlimited" be the right music to workout to? or maybe its my workout mate, I am starting to wonder if much like having another women be your sister wife that having your husband be your coach is not really all that ideal. Regardless of what I find out works for me I know this is not just going to be about being able to thrust 65lbs an absurd amount of times. The truth is that this is also going to be about believing in myself enough,  finding a place in my own head that allows me to think that way and getting jacked up enough to actually do it. Can I handle that truth? 

Maybe this is more my style?