It was the summer after I had just finished my fourth year of teaching when W and I started to date. We had meet a few times before that but always in a "party" setting. So in essence he had only ever known a version of me that was carefree. A gal who was always game for a good time, would go out, stay up late, drink, have fun:) It was late August when W started to notice a change. Suddenly I wasn't so easy going , I didn't stay out quite as late, drink as much or spend so much time doing...well doing nothing. It was obvious I had things on my mind. Wondering if maybe our summer romance was fizzling W grew concerned and brought up his worries. It was then that we had "the talk". I was the first teacher he knew personally, it wasn't his fault, he didn't know. And for some reading this it might come as a shock to you too but its true. Teachers have two personalities, a summer vacation version and a school year version. As you can imagine, in almost every case summer version is more favoured. So I explained to W that my distance was not because of a faulty connection but my change in mood was because I was just preparing for the fast past, on your feet, talk non stop, help at lunch, volunteer after school, discipline all day, mark all night world I was about to re enter. I was morphing from Summer Dana to School Dana. I am lucky he stuck it out and I am sure if you asked him he would tell you that every July long weekend he welcomes my alter ego and that the lady who emerges from behind a stack of finals at the end of June is by far the more fun version of me. We have adjusted and even found out that Maternity leave Dana has turned out to be kinda cool too:)That is after the hormone levels evened out. Its a balance thing. Teachers generally don't have any, they live school, the job sort of demands it.
This coming Friday as I head back into school I can't help but feel apprehensive about the changes that are about to rock my tediously balanced boat. Right now there is time, time to workout, time to prepare a paleo meal, time to play with the kids, time to clean up, time to read a book even time to chat with my husband. Simply put there is time. Time to explore more of who I am and find out that beyond being a teacher I actually do enjoy other things. Time that will be quickly gobbled up by teacher things once I am back at it. Many health experts claim that to be truly happy and healthy one must be able to to
ss all of life's "balls": work, play, family, spouse and house into the air and give them equal attention to keep them off the ground. I know that the key to my success once I return to work is to find that ever elusive balance. Something I am starting to wonder isn't just an illusion, an idealistic vision that balance means working full time, enjoying an active social calendar that includes ample amounts of alone and couple time while seamlessly managing a beautifully decorated, immaculately clean house full of well behaved, perfectly groomed children completing Mensa puzzles quietly in their rooms. I know that isn't true balance, that is merely a myth passed down from mothers to their daughter along with guilt....
Right?
Shit!
Do you think three days is enough time to learn to juggle?
Hey Lady!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on heading back to school!!! As I know from having time off from "real life" over the years of traveling, getting back to normal at first it can kinda suck......but yet it doesn't suck at all. New challenges/changes are a great thing in this crazy thing called life and if we never experience "different" ways of living, we would be boring, fat, uneducated, lame and ugly! HAHAHHAhahahaah okay maybe that is a bit drastic, but ya get where Ima coming from.
Don't feel like you have to be a ridiculous super star that has to do ALLLLL of the things you did well off work (EXCEPT WODs are NOT negotiable). Maybe ya pay Marni a few bucks to cook some Paleo meals for ya, or ya hire a house keeper to come in once a wk. That way the REAAAAAAALLY important things like M and J + W get to still hang with ya!
I'm totally not telling you anything ya probably don't already know, but just wanted to give ya some support and a smile! ;0)
Keep smiling!
Bree
Dana,
ReplyDeleteYou are preaching to the choir,which you already know. The teacher in me is the "fun sponge"... always on the lookout for things that might be fun but must be stopped due to safety guidelines, cost, practicality, etc.....
Needless to say my family also prefers "Summer Jen" to the Fun Sponge. The only bad thing in our house is that TWO of us morph every August 31 into unrecognizable shadows of the fun people we like to be in the summer. Alas, there is that perk - by being serious all year, we get summer to live it up. Your summer is a mere 5 months away so hang in there!
Here is what I have learned...
1. Hire a cleaning lady. Who cares if you can afford it - it takes away the nagger in you!
2. Cook on Sundays, together - that's how a couple of paleo meals happen every week.
3. Multitask - as a crossfit momma you already know this, but find a way to double up somehow on your do list (Think floss in the car, read while you blow dry, etc.)
4. Wine is not just for weekends. :)
5. Only you will notice if you are not superteacher. Leave it at the door and enjoy your family when you get home - they are the reason for working anyways!
I know this all sounds easy, and when you have to go back it just sucks. But if anyone can do it while laughing - it's you Dana!
Looking forward to commiserating at some wolf creek stuff with you.
Hang in there!
Jen